Rinoa's stand
by RoMayDrako
Summary: I'm evil I'm so evil. ::laughs out loud:: If I left anyone out of my bashing spreePLEASE tell me.


Please feel free to tell me what you think.  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own FF8  
  
Disclaim: I don't hate some characters as much as it may sound.  
  
Claim: I'm just having fun taking pop shot's at people from Rinoa's point of view in the name of humor.  
  
  
Rinoa walks unto stage, cheered by the crowd. Behold the Garden talent show. She notices a familiar face in the crowd and smiles blowing a kiss. Grinning evilly she looks at the crowd.  
  
"Hello everyone, how are you? Fine I take it." Rinoa chuckles. "It's amazing we all can be doing fine with Squall in charge. Is it just me or does it sound like a bad idea putting a cold HEARTLESS person in the charge of the school? Especially when he couldn't give a damn." Rinoa raises an eye brow. "Come on here, picture it, 'Hey Squall the school needs new books should we order more?' Squall shrugs and walks away. 'Hey Squall a student needs to be talked to.' Squall shrugs away. 'HEY SQUALL THE SCHOOLS UNDER ATTACK!' Squall just shrugs and walks away. 'Hey Squall did you hear Rinoa loves Seifer?'" Rinoa sighs and shakes her head. "Squall just shrugs and walks away." Rinoa rolls her eyes and slaps her hip. "Come on here this man is totally not right for the role. Id rather have Seifer at the wheel!" Rinoa scoffs. "At least we'd be getting some where." Rinoa stops and thinks. "It's funny, Seifer. He's considered problematic, but you know what. He's just a Squall with feelings," Rinoa looks at the crowd, "scary ain't it? Give Squall feelings and he'll be tearing apart the school and telling you to fuck off." Rinoa makes a funny face. "And have you ever seen how they act around each other. Constantly at each others throat, personally the only time Squall doesn't shrug and walk away. Don't believe me look at there scars. You know that's why parent's separate there kids when they fight. So that don't happen. When you go home next time kiss your parents feet and thank them for separating you. I swear Seifer and Squall fight like brothers, their the ultimate brother quarrel." Rinoa pauses. "you know I'd love to slam there heads together wouldn't you?" Rinoa listens as the crowd cheers. "And you know who's the little brother... And it's not Squall."   
  
Squall shakes her head and changes position on the chair. "Okay on another note, have you seen Quistis? Big glasses, deer in the headlight look... Yeah that's her. Is it me or does she need to get a life? I mean she teaches classes almost twenty-four hours a day, then seems WAY to happy to get behind a gun. Yeah some of us remember that all right." Rinoa cringes. "I still have nightmares about it." Rinoa takes a drink of water. "And have you seen Quistis's last date?" Rinoa watches as the crowd mumbles about her last date. "He's still pissing out of a bag." Rinoa takes slow drink of water. "Speaking about pissing out of a bag, that's what Selphie's going to be doing soon if she don't put down her camera, or at least cut back on the sugar. Yeah we've all seen it. She gets into the sugar storage, eats about 50 pounds of sugar, grabs the camera and runs down the hall babbling about SOMETHING. Not to mention someone ALWAYS gets the camera stuffed in there face. I can see it now." Rinoa stands up and moves her hands signaling a screen. "Selphie shoves the camera into Irvine's face and BAM!" Rinoa claps her hands. "Poor Selphie's pissing out of a bag." Rinoa laughs. "Seriously, unfortunately she's more likely to knock her brains out. One day as she's running down the hall someone's going to put something in her path. Then we'll get the last laugh."  
  
"Lets go back to Irvine." Rinoa shakes her hand. "Now THAT'S a man with a problem Can't shoot without regrets, but damn he could sleep with every woman here and he'd have NO regrets. Even worse is that loser never gets a STD." Rinoa sounds disgusted. "Come on, this is reality here. But good news Selphie... I don't think you have to worry about kids. It's pretty clear that Irvine's stale. Staler then a neutered cat." Rinoa stretches out her arms. "Come on no one fucks that many woman without getting one knocked up. And what is it with you woman?" Rinoa asks upsets. "Can't anyone here have the womanly pride to tell Irvine to go screw the hole in the wall? GA what is it with you, he gives you the most PATHETIC lines and you STILL fall for him. If we put Zell in a cowboy outfit and grow his hair out, and gave him the most pathetic lines, would you go out with him?" Rinoa asks the crowd. "Who would go out with Zell if he did that? Raise your hand." Rinoa looks at the one hand raised in the whole intire audience. "Zell put your hand down. You can't date your self." Rinoa says calmly. Rinoa raises her glass to drink. "Oh when Seifer called you chicken wuss he really meant to call you chicken dick." Rinoa takes her drink. "Don't believe me ask the girl in the library."  
  
"Next up, you all know about Squall's dad Laguna right?" Rinoa listens as the crowd cheers. "That's one sorry man. Every time he gets nervous he gets a cramp. That must've made him lousy in bed... Poor Raine. Thank God he wasn't around for the birth," Rinoa says still calm. "Cause if he would've been around man would have known what labor felt like. And that person, Ellone, who helped get Laguna back. She's whacked in the head. And mean why did she have to knock us out just to tell us what happened in the past. Doesn't she know what words are?" Rinoa rolls her eyes and paces the stage. "Come on we're dense but not that dense. Just ask Edea she raised some of us. I swear she went crazy and Ultimecia took over and finished what WE started." Rinoa chuckles. "But seriously, Ellone, she needs learn communication. We don't bite. And hell Seifer, and Squall only know how to use the blade part of there GUNblades."  
  
Rinoa looks at the time. "My time is up I must depart... To you Cid, you've doomed us all to hell. That was the stupidest move you could have done putting an emotionless Seifer in charge. We all thank you for that. NIGHT ALL." Rinoa waves and walks off the stage.  
  
***  
  
Please review even if it's a ... okay? Well I got to run. :) 


End file.
